.. book review | sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs by c. klosterman ..

Okay, truth is, I'm not even close to finishing the book yet, so this won't be a formal review. I picked up Eating the Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman, but I didn't want to read his latest offering until first finishing Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. Admittedly, some of his pop culture references are a bit passe, but only because its been five years or so since it's publication. I've had Klosterman on my radar for awhile, so I'm happy I've finally gotten around to sampling his work.  

As I told my boyfriend the other day, "Love his writing style. In an ideal world, I'd have his type of easy, fluid, and natural rhythm."

I couldn't wait to post this excerpt. Let me preface it by saying that I was reading the book on my kindle today (shout-out!) during lunch. It was a bit cold, so I was hunched down to read (and because I have really bad posture). Well, I laughed out loud so many times that the noise attracted onlooker attention. Worse yet, I somehow managed to crack myself up so much that I let a drop of wet nose mucus fall right onto my Kindle. Yes, I may have problems, but here's the excerpt!

Chuck's relating a story in which he tries to get his Sims character some hot booty action. We're at the point where he's getting a little somethin' somethin' from his one female Sims friend, Bella:

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"We smooch hardcore. Yet--for some reason--I can't come up with a finishing move [...] I stand by my bed and call her name, and she runs right over, but then we start talking about skiing. I buy a billiard table in order to impress her (and to set the stage for some, Penthouse Forum, Cybil-Shepherd-in-The Last-Picture-Show-style shagging), but all she does is clap her hands. I mean, I know she's comfortable with me: She has no qualms about using the toilet while I'm standing right next to her, an experience that's light-years more intimate than most kinds of oral sex. But SimChuck remains denied.

And you know why SimChuck gets no nookie? Because Bella was lying to me all along. At the height of our relationship, I invite Bella over for a game of pool (and 'maybe more'), and she says, 'Sure, I'd love to come over. Can I bring a friend?' I reluctantly agree, but guess who shows up: Mortimer! It turns out he and Bella are married. Upon watching Bella's hello embrace, Mortimer immediately slaps me, and we kind of scuffle. I try to call him the next morning to apologize, but he tells me to get bent. In a matter of simulated hours, I've managed to lose my only male acquaintance by not having sex with his wife. This is unprecedented. Even Chuck can't compete with the problems of SimChuck."

-Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

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Rating | O O O